24 HOUR CHAT hi
(hey yes youre here because you clicked the 24 hours blinkie)
occasionally I will write here when theres things I want to talk about, sorry if dates are jumbled dont really feel like fixing thatXDD
6/9/24
I started writing in my notes app just now, using it as my own diary. The last time I had a physical diary was when I was in 3rd grade. My parents and sister found it and made fun of me because my rants in the diary were actually so funny, haha. Now that I'm grown and reading that old diary, I'm in awe of how cute and innocent I was as a kid and how fun it was to have an outlet to rant. As I'm picking up writing again, I'm trying to determine if I should make a section on my website where I can publicly share my rants. However, I'm not going to make it a prominent link like "CLICK THIS NOW!!!". I might just create a little favicon or something and link it to this, almost like a secret area.
If anyone is reading this (which no one is because this is a locked note on my phone), HAI! If I do end up sharing this, I might paste it into my diary once I get around to coding all that stuff. I've just been busy with other things and haven't had much time to work on my website. I want to make a shrine section where I can geek out over the things I enjoy without spamming my Tumblr or Twitter pages. Hopefully, everything works out!
7/12/24
Hi, I've been painting and working on art as usual. I've also been applying to jobs like crazy, which makes you wonder why an internet girl would want to work. LOL, I wish I didn't have to, but I need money and to keep myself busy. It might sound edgy, but I'm pretty bored with my life. There isn't much to do. I usually wake up, work on art, play games, apply to jobs, call back the jobs I've applied to, go out for a cigarette, go back in, draw, game, sleep at 4 AM, wake up at 2 PM, and repeat my day.
I know it's summer, and this is my time to relax, but I'm so bored. I just want to do things. I don't really have friends besides my online ones, and my real-life friends are pretty busy with jobs, relationships, and other things, so there's no one to hang out with. I don't mind, but in the back of my head, I do. I get teased for having no friends, and I'm pretty aware it's loser behavior, but it's what's best for me. It's not that bad anyway. Like an online friend of mine said, "You get used to it," and you really do.
Anyway, enough of the edge. I'm working on a comic called Biosynth, and I've just started the first chapter. I've been writing the story plot for about two months now, including character data, backgrounds, and other stuff regarding the characters. It's coming along, and I'm pretty excited for the day I release chapter one! I know I'm a bit of a nobody on the internet, so the comic may not blow up like I want it to, but it's something to keep my mind busy.
Anyway, that's really all I wanted to rant about. Maybe I'll find something else and edit this. Hmm.
6/15/24
Hello, I'm updating my life. Recently, I've been in this weird phase of just feeling empty. That sounds so edgy, my God, but I say it in a non-edgy way. I don't know how to explain it, but I've just been feeling fat and lazy; nothing interests me much anymore. The Elden Ring DLC is releasing soon, though, and I'm pretty hyped for that.
I was talking to one of my friends about love, friends, family— you know, the usual late-night conversation stuff. We were just ranting to each other back and forth, and I was talking about a past relationship that ended badly. It's been like a never-ending battle just to be on mutual terms with them. Blah blah, but long story short, my friend told me that I'm being too kind to this person and how they treated me poorly, and that I don't owe them anything anymore. They are right, but it's so weird to me how that's how humans think—like we are all just wired to be disrespectful because they started it or something. How weird is that?!
I grew up under the golden rule, and I've carried it with me forever. I do notice that whenever I treat someone poorly, karma hits me back, to be honest. That's why I've stopped being a jerk. I'm all about forgiveness and love. I'm empathetic and loving—what can I say...............